Dear Tony Romo... it's going to be a long offseason... fortunately, you have something to pass the time...

Dear Tony Romo,


He's just as shocked as we are.

Sorry I didn't write you sooner, but I was so upset for you last week.


The Captain's behavior really made me question our friendship. Please, Dallas Cowboys, don't muck with me like that again.

I'm sure that you read what The Truth has to say... I had to clean it up when I got back, but I've left enough to show that he has no idea what he's talking about.


Suck it, Cocktail, the NFL is still rigged. Clearly, Bledsoe was not pretty enough to be the face of Patriotic America post-9/11.

I thought I should tell you how I felt about being knocked out of the playoffs in the divisional round.


You wish it felt this good.

No one should ever experience the kind of agony we did this past week, Tony. But I know that in the end it will make us stronger.


Don't get too upset, Tony, not every NFL quarterback gets to spend their nights with someone as luscious as Jessica Simpson.

So rest up, dig into that Ivy League Jason Garrett playbook, and get ready, cause 2008 is going to be a good year!


The last time an Ivy League school won the National Championship? 1927, Yale. This coincided with the first publication of The Yale Scientific Magazine.

The point? Any school winning a national championship after 1927 is academically irrelevant.

1984. More than just a great work of fiction. Also a time when a cougar could feel comfortable vomiting a U, and acquiring multiple mates.