Dear Tom Brady... so, our prediction didn't hold - the Gints weren't the creampuff we'd expected. Bite us.

Dear Tom Brady,


Yes, this game did take place a week ago. I think the Captain lost track of time and space when he had to cheer so vehemently for the hated New York Giants. Yes, I think he needs to get over it too.

Wow. What an epic struggle. You really looked like you were playing against your own pain in that game.


Perhaps it is the pain of a love lost, an opportunity missed... or the vice this broad has your Patri-nuts in.

Now you and the Patriots have become the first decade dynasty to lose a Super Bowl. That must only add to the hurt. I hope it hits home, Tom, and I hope you learn a lesson - you may be one of the all-time greats, but don't get cocky.


Oops, wrong kind of cocky.

Dear Tony Romo... How was Mexico? How is Jessica Simpson? Are there any videos of your trip?

Dear Tony Romo,

Hi, it's the Captain. How was Mexico? I saw the pictures of you and Jess... I mean Jessica - Simpson, in case you were wondering. She seems really nice, especially from what I saw on "Newlyweds with Nick and..."



Oh, sorry. Sore subject, I'm sure.

Don't worry, pal. I myself am recovering from marriage and high-profile romance. I empathize a lot with the Jess-ster. As I call her. Yeah. Anyways, all she wants is to find a man as good as her father. The playoffs are a chance for you to prove that you are as much of a man as Joe Simpson.



As long as you have daughters to exploit.

Maybe you and the Jess-ster should start on that. In case the whole football thing doesn't work out.



Good luck this weekend, Tony. I'm sure that Texas will forgive you if the Giants win.



The Captain